The Calling
May 31, 2008 12:14 PM
I think I am ready to finally step out and post this one. Most of the time, reckless as I am, I would usually post out of a sheer spike of emotion in my life. This time, I guess things are rather different and everyday it always does. it should be.
I've thought and rethought on a post and much I would shy away from posting it because of either am being too busy or it is another schadenfreude on my misfortunes.
Everyone fears the same when it comes to a dear relative who turns out to be sick. The fear that one day in a usual day when they step into a room someone would tell them they have passed away. The fear of hearing, reading, and knowing that they are dead.
A partial of the family tree
That fear has haunted me since my February visit to Dumaguete with John, as I finally saw how my grandmother was. Donya Mameng, as we kiddingly call her, was so thin and quieter than usual. She was tired - tired in a very profound way.
When I went back to Singapore, my mother has been attending to her and I was put out of circulation and because, I would understand, that they would like me to concentrate on my work. But there was a time, I woke up in the wee hours of the night and know something was going on. Which was upon checking with my mother only to find out Lola Mameng is in the hospital. There were times as well when everything was quite still, I would silently cry.
I've thought and rethought on a post and much I would shy away from posting it because of either am being too busy or it is another schadenfreude on my misfortunes.
Everyone fears the same when it comes to a dear relative who turns out to be sick. The fear that one day in a usual day when they step into a room someone would tell them they have passed away. The fear of hearing, reading, and knowing that they are dead.
A partial of the family tree
That fear has haunted me since my February visit to Dumaguete with John, as I finally saw how my grandmother was. Donya Mameng, as we kiddingly call her, was so thin and quieter than usual. She was tired - tired in a very profound way.
When I went back to Singapore, my mother has been attending to her and I was put out of circulation and because, I would understand, that they would like me to concentrate on my work. But there was a time, I woke up in the wee hours of the night and know something was going on. Which was upon checking with my mother only to find out Lola Mameng is in the hospital. There were times as well when everything was quite still, I would silently cry.
When Lola Mameng died, on May 11, the call came from my Dad.
It was the Calling. Everyone had to go back home.
I filed my leave, booked a flight to Manila, booked a flight to Dumaguete. Without any doubt, I was still working. :( No time to grieve, time to prepare to have a straight face during the wake and the indifference on the bickering of the relatives and catch up on work which was greatly hindered when my body gave way from working hard. Plus added the stress that we might not be able to get a flight to Dumaguete and back because of the typhoon.
Wakes usually bring the bickering of the relatives. Well for me. I am finished getting involved in one during the wake of Amah's and Lola Dawn's. After entertaining unfamiliar faces long forgotten in time, Elen and I began to do our work as what was silently expected of us - the photographers.
Taking pictures of relatives crying was hard. Hard in a sense, people don't want to be taken pictures of while they are mourning and as well the part that you will remember that a great woman, friend, sister, mother, auntie, grandmother and great grandmother has passed away.
Lola Mameng will be greatly missed as she has loved us, cared for us, listened and guided us. But I am greatly happy for her for she has finally got her rest in the hands of the Lord Almighty after 90 wonderful years.
I would like to thank people who have sent their condolences in kind words, cards, and in financial help. Some were quite unexpected but I would like to thank those who knows how it is important my grandmother was to me, my family and extended family.
Leave a comment